Today was a big day! I stopped taking the birth control pill per doctor orders on Thursday, 7/12, and today I started my period (to be expected). This morning I went in for my baseline ultrasound and blood work, and it was exactly like all of the other internal ultrasounds and blood work I've had done over the past 2.5+ years! Easy peasy. I really liked this woman's style though. She handed me the clipboard with all of the blanks to fill in. She said she did this to "put me to work" and so that I would know what she knows. I loved that! So now I know how thick my endometrial lining is (2mm, expected on day 1 of your period), and how big my ovaries were measuring, 20mmx20mmx8mm (about the size of almonds, normal). I had 8 tiny follicles on each side.
Once the ultrasound was over, I headed into work for the day and I'm SO glad I did. It kept me busy and I loved seeing a lot of my kids for an extra day before my time off started. I also had to give a big training (which I was kind of dreading given everything else that's been on my mind), but it went SO well and was just the cherry on top of an already great day. I'm grateful to work with very supportive people, some of whom have also struggled with fertility issues. The people who know about this are all rooting for us, which I greatly appreciate and need right now!
At about 1:30PM, I got the go ahead orders to start injections that night! All of a sudden, things felt VERY real. 150 units of Gonal-F, here we come!
I wanted to do the injection at 7PM, so I took the Gonal-f out of the refrigerator at about 6:30 to get it up to room temp. I re-read the instructions and re-watched the injection video. At 6:50, I took my handy dandy flamingo ice pack out of the freezer and stuck it in my waist band. I have heard from many ladies that icing the area helps tremendously with the comfort level, so I did it! Iced for 10 minutes.
I got everything laid out on the bathroom counter during that ten minutes, which helped keep my mind busy. I told Mark to get the music going, because each night we are going to add a new song to our IVF playlist. We're trying to inject some fun and humor into this process whenever we can! Some of the songs are funny, some are ironic, and some are down right tear jerkers! Wait and see! <3 Tonight's song was "Hit Me with Your Best Shot!"
Once the song was playing, shit felt real again. Hah! I almost wanted to use the song as a timer of accountability so I couldn't dare to back out. Like 'Mackenzie, you have to do this by the time the song ends!' And it worked! One of my friends also pointed out that the lyrics match up in kind of an awesome way when we are doing the injection.
I'm attaching the video below-- if you are squeamish, keep scrolling! :)
So ladies, I have to say, and I'm not just saying this. Gonal-F was NOT BAD AT ALL! I'm not sure if icing it did the trick, but I just pinched a little section of fat that was totally numb, haha, and went in kind of quickly, and it really was ok! Barely felt anything, especially after the first second! You can do this!
I also just want to point out that the feeling that came after this was done was like pure elation. I felt so incredibly proud of myself and just this intense wave of relief now that so many of the unknowns were removed. If you're about to start this process and are scared, just know that this feeling, the one right when you are finished the first injection, will make it worth it. Your badass level goes up by about 5 million percent. I felt all of the energy of other women who have done this before me, all of these powerful, brave women who do this to their bodies to become mothers. These thoughts actually inspired the song for Night 2 of the IVF Playlist, so stay tuned ;).
As my mom tells me, EYES ON THE PRIZE! As my husband tells me, YOU GOT THIS! And as I tell myself, you are going to be one amazing and strong mama. So carry on ladies! You can do it!